First Impressions...

My first impression back is complex.  I'm comfortable, focused, nervous, anxious, and, above all, awkward.  Awkward?  An ex is in my math class!  I did a fantastic job avoiding her in class but discovered she had parked next to me in the parking lot.  100+ spots and she choose the one next to my truck, a mixed signal given the "freak-out" she had when I split with her.  I managed to keep my head down and escape without incident.

On to more important matters.  I've decided to spend at least an hour every week in the math lab to ensure I am comfortable with the core concepts of algebra and geometry before the semester gets too heavy.  I'm capable of handling the class but I loathe math.  I'd rather cut the grass, scrub baseboards, stand in line at the DMV, you get the picture... Tomorrow I've got psychology and philosophy on deck.  I'm really looking forward to general psych. with Ms. Mosley.  I had her for Human Growth and Development and she sparked a passion for behavioral sciences in me.  I've skimmed over the syllabus and it looks like we're going to combine some of the basic concepts of human growth/dev. and sociology and dig deeper into science.  I'm planning on tearing into a Redbull, sitting front row, and gunning for that perfect grade.

I'm still waiting for the results of my second TB test before I get direct contact with residents at the hospice, for now I'm stuck doing mind-numbing training and secretarial work.  That being said I'm extremely nervous at the idea of interacting with terminal patients since I've never experienced that sort of loss personally.  I'm frightened that my response will either be too emotional or too dispassionate.  I'm familiar with the Kübler-Ross model, and what is expected of me in a volunteer capacity... but what about my personal response?  We shall see.


Goals for the week are to contact the science department head and see about research opportunities, cold-call some more physicians to shadow, and square away a regular schedule.

Here we go...

I've been a pre-medical applicant for some time, but this will be my full-throttle attempt at making a go at it.  Full-throttle in what ways you might ask?  I left a well-paying job, moved in with my parents, and abandoned the search for romance and a social life.  I traded the good and accepted the bad in the hopes that my path will eventually lead me to medical school and beyond.

Tomorrow is the start of a new semester and the first step in my journey.  Focus, breathe, and give it everything... And now, bed.